Finding Light in the Darkest Valley: My Journey Through Mental Health Awareness Month

I’ll be the first to admit it—I’ve been struggling to keep up with my weekly blogs lately. But as we enter the first week of May, I knew I couldn’t stay silent.

May is Mental Health Awareness Month. For me, this month isn't just a date on the calendar; it is a time of intense reflection. It brings back memories of early May 2020—a time when I faced my darkest circumstances and, through God’s grace, overcame them.

Why We Need to Keep Talking

We talk about mental health more today than we did decades ago, yet the statistics show we are seeing a rise in struggles, especially among the newer generations. I believe everyone has moments where they struggle, but for many, it is a daily battle.

It is time to end the stigma.

• We shouldn't be ashamed of anxiety or depression.

• We shouldn't hide a diagnosis.

• We don't have to shout our business from the mountaintops, but we should never be afraid to speak the truth about our struggles.

In honor of this month, I want to share a piece of my story that I don't tell often.

"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." — Psalm 34:18

My Battle: ADHD and the Weight of Depression

My journey started early. In 2009, when my family moved from Longview to Cypress, Texas, I was unofficially diagnosed with ADD at age nine. It wasn’t until 2020 that my psychiatrist officially diagnosed me with ADHD. As I've gotten older, I've realized how much this has impacted my productivity and focus.

Alongside that, I have navigated various forms of depression:

1. Grief-based depression.

2. Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD).

3. Situational depression (stemming from life's hardships).

4. The "Unknown" depression: The heavy, lingering feeling where you don't even know why you're depressed—you just are.

The Breaking Point: May 2020

Content Warning: The following section discusses suicide and trauma.

In early 2020, I was at a breaking point. The world was reeling from COVID-19, but I was already fighting internal wars. I was wrapping up a year of PTSD therapy following a non-consensual trauma where my boundaries were ignored.

The isolation of the pandemic was the final nudge. One night, I took a large amount of my prescribed medication that I had been hiding in my jewelry box. I told my parents I loved them, that it was "better this way," and that I had taken the pills.

Looking back, I cannot imagine the "hell" I put my parents through in that moment. Their frustration wasn't anger—it was pure, terrifying worry for their only child.

The Turning Point: A Bible and a Ward

When the authorities arrived for a wellness check, the officer was shocked. I wasn't "dramatic" or "emotional"; I was calm and conversational. I had simply decided I didn't want to live anymore.

As EMS prepared to take me to the hospital, I asked for one thing: My Bible. They had to cut the ribbon out of it for safety reasons, but I didn't care. I needed it.

After 48 hours in the ER and a virtual evaluation, I told the psychiatrist: "I still don't want to live, but I know I need help because I don't want to feel this way anymore." I voluntarily entered a psychiatric hospital in The Woodlands. At 20 years old, I was terrified, but I was ready to do whatever it took to feel okay again.

The Ultimate Authority

The amount of medication I took should have killed me. I truly believe I am only here because of God. During that week in the hospital, and the years of recovery that followed, He made it clear:

"I am not done with you yet. I have a plan for your life to prosper you and not to harm you. You have no authority over your life, Kaitlin—I have the ultimate authority."

God used my parents, my church, and my family to walk me through the guilt and shame. He turned my "valley" into a testimony.

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” — Jeremiah 29:11

A Message for You

I share this because I want you to know that God has a plan and a purpose for your life. He knew you in your mother’s womb, and He holds your future in His hands.

"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb... Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be." — Psalm 139:13, 16

If you are struggling with depression, suicidal ideation, or any mental health battle:

• You are loved.

• You are cherished.

• You are NOT alone.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help. You deserve to live.

Resources: If you or someone you know is struggling, please reach out for help.

• National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: Call or text 988 (in the USA)

• Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741